Volume 23  December, 2004   Issue No. 12

 

 

ANNOUNCEMENT

Holiday Party this month. Bring your favorite dish(es) and just have fun! Meeting/dinner starts @ 6:00PM

Paid members get a little something from the club too!

The Next Meeting

Progressive Raffle

Jackpot is up to $250.00!!

23 cards left 

 

Regular Meeting


 

 

Wednesday, December 15

Caseyville Township Bldg. 
10001 Bunkum Rd.
Fairview Heights, IL

Directions:      Map:

 

Board 
Meeting

Wednesday, January 5

Ponderosa Steakhouse

5 Eastport Plaza Drive 
Collinsville, IL
(618)345-5006

Directions: 

Meal starts about 6:00. Meeting starts at 7:00

Everyone is welcome

   

 

The Presentation

This
Meeting

 

Holiday Party 

Gifts to paid members from the club!!

Next
Meeting

 

Microsoft Rep?

 

 

Hello From The Pres...
Mike Taphorn

COMPUTER SHOW

The computer show went well. We fixed a lot of PC’s. Gained a few members and renewed a few of our old members. I hope everyone had fun and learned a few new tricks. I appreciate the great members and volunteers that we have more and more every day. I talked to a few people that are involved with other clubs and they are always amazed at how many people we have and how everyone pitches in to help each other and the people that we touch at every show. It truly is a great thing to be surrounded by so many good people. It makes my life a lot easier and we do a lot of good for each other and the community. Keep up the good work and thanks for your support. We couldn’t do it without each and every one of the people that pitch in to make this club great.

Thanks for your help.

ELECTION RESULTS

We elected our officers last month. It wasn’t near as close as the presidential elections and it didn’t take as long either. Here are the winners

Position Winner

President Mike Taphorn

V.P. Jim Tomlinson

Secretary Carlos Mariles

Membership Chairman J.C. Spelce

Librarian Jason Whitener / Dennis McMurtrey (Assistant)

Treasurer Dianne White

Webmaster Dennis McMurtrey

Newsletter Chuck White

Thanks to all the voters and participants and the board and I hope to have a great year serving as your Leaders.

 

HOLIDAY PARTY

Come one, Come all….. To our Holiday Party.

Everyone knows that a Holiday party is a time to come together and share a little time with your family and your friends. Our party is no different…

The Board Members and I would like to invite you to our favorite meeting of the year. We’re going to start a little early (6:00 PM) so we can all enjoy the meal before the gift giving begins. We have a lot of good food every year and I’m sure this year will be great as well. Please bring your family and any friends that want to get in on the free food and prizes. Every dues paying member will get a special prize and the raffle prizes are going to include the best stuff we have had all year. Make sure you bring the kids. We’re going to have a special prize just for them. I hope you can make it and remember that we start early this month. Be there by 6:00 PM or you might miss out on some of the goodies…

HOLIDAY PARTY PRIZES

The Members-Only Prizes arrived a while ago and the board members got a sneak peek at them at the last board meeting. We think you’ll like them and I hope they come in handy for everyone. I use mine almost every night.

No it’s not that… Get your mind out of the gutter… (He said with a smile.)

Don’t miss this meeting or you’ll miss out on great food and the great prizes…

See you at the meeting …

 Mike

 

The Computer Master
Jim Tomlinson, Vice President




See you at the meeting!
Enjoy.....JT

 

 

The Treasurer's Report
Dianne White

TREASURER'S REPORT
Don Wold, Treasurer as of November 2004

Balance as of Nov 1, 2004: $5549.75

INCOME:
1 New Mbr; 4 Renewals: $75
CD Sales: Oct: $11; Nov: $2 $13
Nov. Roll-Over Jackpot* $81
Miscel. Income: $110.
Total Income: $279 $5828.75
EXPENSES: 
Admin. Exp. (3 rolls tckts $ 15.86
Equip. Exp. (install internet jacks
in mtg hall; addit. 25' cable $564.43
Miscel. Exp: (Pizza for instl. crew $ 40.26 
Total Expenses: $620.55
Balance as of Dec 1, 2004: $5208.20
* Roll-Over Jackpot now worth: $250.

 

The Secretary's Report
Carlos Mariles

November 17, 2004 minutes,

President Mike Taphorn opened the meeting at 7:PM and the first order of business was to start the election of officers for the next fiscal year 2005.
After the elections were over most of the old officers retained their office with a couple of new members coming on board. 
President Mike Taphorn
Vice. Jim Tomlinson
Secretary Carlos Mariles
Treasurer Dianne White
Librarian(s) Jason Whitener/Dennis McMurtrey
Web Master Dennis McMurtrey
Editor Chuck White (the other half)
Member at large Jerry Casteel


The meeting continued after the formal installation and Mike proceeded to announce that we had purchased some white T-shirts with our club's logo
printed. The shirts can be purchased from our treasurer and can be used specially during the coming computer show that will be held in Collinsville
during the first weekend of December.


Mike and Chuck Hill will be putting together some of Chuck's all computers and will be donated to those in need of one. The next meeting coming 
in December is going to be a combination of a short meeting and a Holiday dinner. It is suggested that you bring a side dish or dessert. The club
will be purchasing the main entrée from Quiznos as is tradition. For all those who attend Santa might have a token present from the club. Last 
year was a Cadillac SUV and this year is a Hummer, nothing fancy. The meeting will start at 6:PM, earlier than usual. 


Mike also announced that thanks to the efforts of club members spearheaded by Mr. Mill, the room(s) where we meet was completely wired with a wireless router at no cost to the host building. This means that from now on we can actually fully use our capabilities with the internet and bother no one. The normal Q&A followed for the normal 30 minutes. To finalize the agenda, there was a swap meet for the rest of the meeting. It looks like both sides did well that night.

The next meeting will be held on Dec. 15th at the same place at 6:PM, bring your food and be ready to party.

 

Till then,

Carlos

 

 

The Membership Chairman
JC Spelce

Number of Members in attendance last month:  
Total Membership Before last month's meeting  
      Number of Members renewing last meeting    
      Number Of Members  joined last meeting   
      Number of members dropped    
Current Total Membership   
     Number of Members in Good Standing  
     Number of Members on Probation  

 

The Web Master
Dennis McMurtrey

How to Reformat Your Hard Drive

There comes a time in every drives life when it just becomes too cluttered. Sure you could manually delete all those useless files, but who has time for that? The best way to do this is to reformat your hard-drive. WARNING: By reformatting your hard drive, you lose all information that is still on it. This includes, games, personal files, Office Suites, and anything else you have added besides Windows 95/98.

*Note: We must make clear that the procedures given in this article are advice. We absolutely cannot be held responsible for any unintended mishaps that may occur with your system. We have reinstalled Windows dozens of times on different computers, and this article relates our experience with the procedure.

Preparation is Key: Backing Up

Now, the first step in reformatting your hard drive is backing up your information. It is recommended that you use a Zip Drive, or any other high capacity removable media (CD's, Tapes, Super disks). When you perform your backups, make sure you are using brand-new diskettes. A good idea is to print out the important information. Hard copies are much harder to destroy than diskettes. Also, re-creating your documents from hard copies, while time-consuming, is much better than losing the data altogether.

System Information

You need to write down is pertinent system information. Each hardware peripheral on your computer needs a driver -- a driver is the software that allows Windows to communicate with your hardware peripheral. Do you have a sound card? Then you need to make sure that you know which company makes it. Do you have a scanner? Then make sure that you have the CD-ROM or diskette that came with it. You also need to know the manufacturer and model of your video card, your printer, your joystick, your DVD-ROM drive (if you have one), your digital camera (if you have one), and any other peripheral that works with your computer.

If you cannot find the diskette or CD-ROM that came with your peripheral, then you should look on the Internet for a current driver. Every decent hardware maker now has a Web site with drivers you can download directly.

If you do not know the manufacturer or model name of your peripherals, you can find out from the Windows Device Manager.

1) Click on Start, choose Settings, and then choose Control Panel.

2) Double-click on the System icon.

3) Click on the Device Manager tab.

Inside of the Device Manager window click on the "+" sign next to a device type to see the type of device you have installed. For example, our display adapter (video card) is a RIVA TNT made by nVidia. The network card is an EtherExpress made by Intel. I can find current drivers for each of these devices by going to the company's respective Web sites. If I clicked on the "+" sign next to "Sound, video and game controllers", you will see information on the SoundBlaster sound card and the Microsoft Joystick.

Dial-Up Networking Settings

If you use a modem, be sure to keep a record of your dial-Up Networking settings. Open Dial Up Networking connection properties in My Computer, and copy down your ISP's phone number. Be sure you know your login name and password. If you have a cable modem or DSL, your interface to the Internet is most likely a network card -- be sure you have drivers for that card, and that you've copied all the important settings from the Network Control Panel.

Personal Files

Unless you have saved every file, every MP3, and every picture onto a disk, there is bound to be some files that you're going to want to back-up. The default directory is My Documents, however, certain people use their desktop for the same purpose. It is always wise to back-up favorites/bookmarks, and any email messages you need. Internet Explorer has an Import/Export feature to back up, and then reinstall, your favorites, as well as cookies. Outlook Express has the same Import/Export feature for e-mail messages. Netscape users can just back up C:\Program Files\Netscape\Users\USER_NAME\bookmark.htm. Last but not least, if you use any sort of instant messaging service, you might want to back your 'buddy list' up. AOL's instant messaging client also has an import export feature, and ICQ users can just go to their help Web site, and follow their instructions.

Before you start, there are a few things you need:

  • Windows 98 Startup Disk
    This whole project could end terribly if you reformat your hard drive, and you don't have this disk. To create one, launch the Add/Remove Software window in your Control Panel. Once the window is launched, go to the Startup Disk tab, hit create disk, and follow the directions. Since it includes CD-ROM drivers, the Windows 98 Startup Disk will enable you to launch a painless Windows installation from a DOS prompt. If you’re new for Startup Disk’s, please refer to our Boot Disk article

  • Windows 98 CD
    This is necessary for re-installing Win98. Just like any other program, Windows WILL be deleted. If you are without this CD, you will have no chance of getting your computer back up and running. However, you are not limited to Windows. You can install other Operating Systems, such as Windows 2000, Windows 95, Windows NT, Windows Me, BeOS, and Linux. Any of these should work, just make sure that your system is compatible, and that you have the right drivers.

  • Drivers
    Every piece of hardware requires a driver to tell it what to do. While some drivers are on the Windows 98 CD, it is recommended that you go online and search for all of your necessary drivers. Even if you have them on disk, it’s always a good idea to have the most up to date version.

Before this point, we did not delete any files, or do anything that could render your computer useless. All that is about to change. Before we proceed, it is recommended that you test your startup disk. Shut down windows, insert the disk, and restart your computer. Answer 'yes' to the question about CD-ROM support. Now, if the disk works, its time to begin!

Clean Sweep

Now the real fun begins! We’re will proceed into DOS to reformat Windows. Click on your Start Menu, and then click on Shut Down. Next, click on the bullet that reads “Restart in MS-DOS mode.” Then select “ok.”

Windows should shut down and your screen should become black and display a few words or information. This program is called Command Prompt, which allows you to input basic commands without a graphical user interface. In our scenario, we’re using Command Prompt to reformat your hard drive when Windows is not running.

You should be presented with a prompt of:
C:\Windows>

At the prompt, type
CD\. If that doesn’t work, type CD..

You will now see a
C:\>. Type format c: /s and then hit Enter.

The /S saves your important system files. If you receive an error when typing in /s, remove the /s and only type:
format c:. Next, hit the “Y” key to proceed reformatting your hard drive. After completion, it will ask you for a volume label. You can type up to 11 characters to name your hard drive, or simply hit Enter key to assign the default name, C:.

You are now ready to re-install Windows. Congratulations, you got through the toughest part: preparation. The rest is easy, because Windows does most of the work for you.

Turn off your computer and put the Windows Startup Disk in the
A: drive.

Turn your machine back on and allow your computer to access the floppy diskette. While your computer is accessing the drive, insert the Windows 98 CD-ROM. When the options appear, select “Start Computer with CD-ROM support” which is choice number one. This enables Windows to obtain the vital information and drivers from the CD to install Windows. The installation process takes anywhere from 30 - 70 minutes to completely install, depending on the options you pick and the speed of your computer. While Windows is installing on your computer, remove the floppy diskette. When Windows is completely reinstalled, then you can start re-installing your software applications.

Reinstalling Windows takes time and loads of preparation, but in the end, your machine will run like new! Windows will start faster and run quicker, finally free of years of application bloat. I hope this guide makes the reinstall process a bit easier for you. Just by following the preparation instructions, you'll have saved yourself days of frustration and heartache. At the very least, we hope you keep your sanity during this process!

From JM Tech Support

 

 


Librarian
Jason Whitener


Assistant  
Dennis McMurtrey

The Librarians

 

 

 

The Editor
Chuck White

Congrats to the whole crew working our booth at the Bluestar computer show. ALL pics have names!! Keep it up guys and gals. We do still have unnamed photos though :-(.  Always a work in progress.

If you happened to attend the computer show and saw a gentleman taking pics of US, that was John Hirsh from Wisconsin. He was checking out the way we operate our booth at the show. He is going to report his findings to his computer group and see if they can duplicate our success. We have some of the pics he took and I'm trying to get them on a webpage. They might be online by the time this is published. 

p.s. John even joined OUR club :-)

Have a happy and safe holiday season.

 

Mitch's Corner
Mitch  Graves

ANTI Spyware Tools and Other Tools for Advanced Users

StartupList : A simple tool that lists all and every auto starting program on your system. You might be surprised what it finds, this is way better than Msconfig. Commonly used to troubleshoot malfunctioning systems, trojan/viral infections, new spyware/malware breed and the likes.
Currently at version: 1.52.1
-> Download from RichardtheLionHearted.com
-> Download from LurkHere
-> Download from ComputerCops
-> Download from Subratam
-> Download from OfficeFive
-> Download from SpywareInfo

HijackThisHijackThis : A general homepage hijackers detector and remover. Initially based on the article Hijacked!, but expanded with almost a dozen other checks against hijacker tricks. It is continually updated to detect and remove new hijacks. It does not target specific programs/URLs, just the methods used by hijackers to force you onto their sites. As a result, false positives are imminent and unless you are sure what you're doing, you should always consult with knowledgable folks (e.g. the forums) before deleting anything.
A rudimentary HijackThis log tutorial by me is available here.
The official HijackThis QuickStart for posting on the SpywareInfo forums is available here.
Currently at version: 1.98.2
-> Download from ZerosRealm
-> Download from LurkHere
-> Download from Subratam
-> Download from OfficeFive
-> Download from SpywareInfo
-> Download from ComputerCops


CWShredderCWShredder: A small utility for removing CoolWebSearch (aka CoolWwwSearch, YouFindAll, White-Pages.ws and a dozen other names). Spybot S&D and Ad-aware tend to forget essential parts of the hijack, so until they update, you can use this to completely remove the hijack. This program is updated to remove the new variants once they come out.
Read my article with documentation on Coolwebsearch here.

CWShredder is owned and maintained by InterMute since October 19, 2004. It is available from them for free seperately, or integrated into SpySubstract PRO.
The free version is available for download here:
http://www.intermute.com/spysubtract/cwshredder_download.html

BugOffBugOff: This little app disables a few exploits that are commonly used by browser hijackers (including CWS), thus protecting you from infection. This does not remove an existing infection! Applicable to everyone that uses Internet Explorer.
Currently at version: 1.10
-> Download from ZerosRealm
-> Download from ComputerCops
-> Download from Subratam
-> Download from OfficeFive
-> Download from SpywareInfo
-> Download from RichardtheLionHearted

ADS SpyADS Spy: A small tool to list, view or delete Alternate Data Streams (ADS) on Windows 2000/XP with NTFS file systems. ADS is a way of storing meta-information for files without actually storing the information in the file it belongs to, carried over from early MacOS compatibility from Windows NT4. Recently browser hijackers began using this technique to store hidden information on the system, and even store trojan executable files in ADS streams of random files on the system. Use with caution.
Currently at version: 1.05
-> Download from ComputerCops
-> Download from Subratam
-> Download from RichardtheLionHearted
-> Download from OfficeFive

BHOListBHOList: A frontend for TonyKlein's BHO Collection that downloads the list, and displays it in a sortable, searchable list. You can also export it to a file and load that file back instead of downloading it from Sysinfo.org.
Currently at version: 1.40
-> Download from ComputerCops
-> Download from Subratam
-> Download from OfficeFive
-> Download from SpywareInfo

Kill2MeKill2Me: A removal tool specifically for the Look2Me parasite. This tool removes versions 115, 116, 117 118, 120, 121 and 122 (the most recent ones) on Windows versions 95, 98, 98SE and ME.
Currently at version: 1.11
-> Download from ComputerCops
-> Download from OfficeFive
-> Download from SpywareInfo

Uptimer4Uptimer4: A bar that sits at the top of your screen and can display over 20 pieces of system information that might be useful to you. System time, system date, uptime, free RAM, free pagefile, free disk space, CPU usage, IP address(es), Winamp controls, battery status, running programs, netstat, etc.
This project is currently suspended until I have more time to update it. Keep sending in bugreports though. :)
(Some functions may not work properly with Windows 95 and Windows NT4 without SP6.)
Currently at version: 1.0 (beta)
-> Download from ComputerCops
-> Download from OfficeFive
-> Download from SpywareInfo

MovieCollectionMovieCollection: A database program that can keep a list of movies you have (intended for DVD Rips), publishing this in a format that is directly readable by all major browsers that support CSS. To see what it can do, take a look at my movies list.
Currently at version: 1.42
-> Download from ComputerCops
-> Download from OfficeFive
-> Download from SpywareInfo

TransIconTransIcon: This does exactly the same as TransText, but is WAY smaller and more flexible. It uses a tweak to make the background color of the text below desktop icons transparent, and exits. The effect should last until the next boot, so a shortcut to this program in your Startup folder works perfectly. Needs command line parameters (add them to the 'Target' field in the shortcut) to specify the color you want the icon text itself to be in the form of hex values (e.g. FFFF00), RGB (e.g. 16711935) or words (e.g. white).
Note: this program is not useful on Windows XP, since that has support for this tweak natively.
Currently at version: 1.01
-> Download from ComputerCops
-> Download from OfficeFive
-> Download from SpywareInfo

KazaaBegoneKazaaBegone: A Kazaa uninstaller which scans and removes all elements of all Kazaa versions, as well as all of the bundled software that comes with it.
Warning: This version has a bug that can cause your Internet connection to be broken when removing New.Net, WebHancer or CommonName. An update is being worked on. If you still want to use KazaaBegone, download LSPFix to fix your Internet connection (download it before you run KazaaBegone, of course).
Currently at version: 1.10
-> Download from ComputerCops
-> Download from Subratam
-> Download from OfficeFive
-> Download from SpywareInfo

SUPER IM CLIENT

Get this on your system and you can still access all your Instant Messenger buddies (this includes AIM, MSN, ICQ, etc)
*BUT* you can also use a cheap headset mic (or your mic and speakers) to chat with each other (can you say "free long distance"?)!

A new IM service that has the potential to be something special. 
It’s already got a good head start. The service is called Qnext. 
It’s a universal IM client, but much more than that. It has 
capabilities the established Big Five (MSN, Yahoo, AIM, ICQ, and 
Trillian) haven’t gotten close to including voice over IP, 
unlimited file sharing and GotoMyPC-style remote access. The 
entire service is FREE and will remain so, according to the 
people who run it. It’s very easy to set up the whole thing and 
there are none of the annoyances of using things like Trillian’s 
free client. Don’t believe me, see for yourself - head over to 
their website and grab a copy of the client. You won’t be sorry!"
Freeware, Windows, Mac and Linux, 21.8MB.
http://www.qnext.com

 

Good file comparison utility

    “Stop making guesses at what's changed between two files--discover the CSDiff difference!” 
- (Lockergnome's Windows 95 / NT E-Zine, issue #49)

     ComponentSoftware Diff (CSDiff) is a free, advanced file-difference analysis tool for Microsoft Windows.

      o CSDiff is a great asset to anyone in need of analyzing changes which have been made between two
 revisions of the same file or folder.
      o CSDiff is commonly used when analyzing program source files, HTML documents and MS-Word documents.


http://www.componentsoftware.com/Products/CSDiff/





Later,

 

 

 
 

Miscellaneous
 Things Of Interest And Importance To Someone 

Exploding Cell Phones a Growing Problem

Nov 25, 9:15 AM (ET)

By ELIZABETH WOLFE

WASHINGTON (AP) - Curtis Sathre said it was like a bomb going off. His 13-year-old son Michael stood stunned, ears ringing, hand gushing blood after his cell phone exploded. Safety officials have received 83 reports of cell phones exploding or catching fire in the past two years, usually because of bad batteries or chargers.

Burns to the face, neck, leg and hip are among the dozens of injury reports the Consumer Product Safety Commission has received. The agency is providing tips for cell phone users to avoid such accidents and has stepped up oversight of the wireless industry. There have been three voluntary battery recalls, and the CPSC is working with companies to create better battery standards.

"CPSC is receiving more and more reports of incidents involving cell phones, and we're very concerned of the potential for more serious injuries or more fires," said agency spokesman Scott Wolfson.

U.S. phone makers and carriers say most fires and explosions are caused by counterfeit batteries and note that in a country with some 170 million cell phone users, the number of accidents is extremely low.

"Is it a problem? It has turned up, you bet. But statistically it is extraordinarily rare," said John Walls, spokesman for the Cellular Telecommunications & Internet Association. "But the fact that it has happened certainly has the industry's attention."

Some consumer advocates say the cause goes beyond bad batteries making their way to the market. They point to the increasing pressure on battery and phone makers to fit more capabilities into small instruments.

"If you're cramming more and more power in a small space, what you're making is a small bomb," said Carl Hilliard, president of the California-based Wireless Consumers Alliance, which has been tracking incidents of cell phone fires and explosions.

Though legitimate batteries can go wrong, there is a greater chance that poorly made, counterfeit ones will lack safety devices to detect overheating or overcharging. The lithium-ion batteries found in most cell phones can overheat if, for example, heat vents are covered.

The CPSC is trying to determine if improved venting is enough by itself to ensure safety. "We have seen temperatures as high as 600 degrees, and you can have a torch-like effect if these batteries don't function properly," Wolfson said.

The commission has announced three battery recalls since January, one from Verizon Wireless and two from Kyocera Wireless Corp. Kyocera's first recall was blamed on a supplier whose standards had slipped. The other recalls were attributed to suppliers bringing counterfeits into distribution chains.

Kyocera, which recalled 1 million batteries last month, said it has changed vendors and doubled efforts to test its own batteries.

Hoping to address problems that may lie beyond their supply lines, members of the wireless industry began collaborating last week with the Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers (IEEE), a standard-setting organization, to create voluntary design and performance standards for all batteries.

"There needs to be high-quality batteries for these cell phones. You have a lot of power in a very small product, so it's really key," said Wolfson of the CPSC, which is participating in the meetings between wireless industry members and IEEE.

Carriers and manufacturers also are urging cellular users to exercise reasonable care of batteries, chargers and phones and to purchase them directly from phone companies rather than secondhand dealers or off the Internet.

But even following those recommendations sometimes isn't enough, as bad products inevitably find their way onto store shelves.

Angela Karasek, a 21-year-old paralegal in Philadelphia, bought her Motorola phone and battery together from a Nextel store. She awoke one night a few weeks ago to what she described as a pinging sound and then saw fire. Her cell phone battery had blown out, igniting a doll about three feet away. She ran to her parents' room for help, and her father quickly put out the fire.

"I'm just a light sleeper, and for some reason I sat up and saw all the flames on the doll," Karasek said.

Marcelino Gonzalez of Brentwood, N.Y., said he suffered second-degree burns after his Kyocera phone exploded in his hand as he turned it on to make a call.

"If it was to my face it would have blown up in my face," said Gonzalez, 62, who has contacted a lawyer.

Michael Sathre, who is expected to fully recover from his wounds, was picking his fully charged Verizon LG cell phone off the floor when it exploded by his side. The family chose not to sue and has instead allowed the companies involved and a consumer group to come to their house to study the damage, in the hopes it won't happen to someone else.

"It took my son two months to decide to even be near a cell phone," said his mother, Cris. "But he needs one." 

---

 

 

The Lighter Side 
Of Computing


Computer Christmas

By Fried-Frog

One night on the computer, alone in the house,
Was surfing the internet, was using the mouse;
To Microsoft.com, to download shareware,
In hopes that Mr. Bill Gates soon would be there.

The links were all nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of web-cookies danced in their heads;
And as java did run, loading script in a snap,
Animation ran smooth without any mishap.

When inside the box there arose such a clatter,
Fell out of my chair, "what the hell is the matter?"
Away went my windows, they flew like a flash,
Used all my resource and deleted my cache.

The colors were fading, the programs ran slow,
Gave the hint that the system was going to go;
When, what to my wondering ears should I hear,
Mr. Bill Gates himself, "you have nothing to fear."

With some updated drivers, so lively and quick,
For all of my hardware, even the joystick;
More rapid than ram that his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:

"Now, Backup! now, Floppy! now, Copy and Paste!
On, Format! on, Setup! on, Default and Save!
>From the top of the port! through directories all!
Now disk drivers! disk drivers! drivers install!"

As viruses that infect the system files fly,
When they erase all the objects, mount the hard drive;
So all through the programs the coursers they flew,
With a zip full of drivers, and Mr. Bill Gates too.

And then, in a twinkling, I saw it reboot,
The spinning and clicking inside of my root;
As I drew in my head and was turning around,
Upon the screen, Mr. Bill Gates, came with a bound.

He was dressed to the nines, from his head to his toes,
And his shoes were Italian with tailor made clothes;
A bundle of software in one CD pack,
And he looked like a webmaster ready to hack.

His eyes, how they twinkled! his dimples, how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose big and scary!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow;
His pocket protector was as white as the snow.

The Microsoft mouse he held tight in his fist,
And the cord it encircled his arm at the wrist;
He had a broad face and some coke bottle glasses,
That slid down his nose, like a drop of molasses.

He was wealthy and rich, a right nerdy old elf,
Man, what I could do with all that money myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And fixed the whole system, then signed on with Mirc;
And pushing his glasses back up on his nose;
And giving a nod, through the modem he goes.

He sprang to com three, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle;
But I heard him exclaim, as he faded from sight,
"I'll monopolize all and I'll do it up right!"

   

If you have something you want to share, just send it to me using the above mailbox 
or catch me at a meeting.